Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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