I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
