Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
