Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
