Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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