Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
