if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
