I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
