Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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