Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
