the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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