So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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