We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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