billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
