What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
