I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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