Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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