You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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