dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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