Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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