Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
