I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
