Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
