I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
