u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
