it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
