We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
