i need an iv and a liver transplant
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
