worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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