I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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