It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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