I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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