Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
home. puking in laundry basket.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
