How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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