I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
