i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
