So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
