My balls are so social today.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
