On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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