She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
