he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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