that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
