Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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