What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
