Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
