I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
