he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
