oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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