The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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