dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
