Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
